On Sunday, March 1st, 2015, I was invited to share with the Young Families Discipleship Community at Carmel, about student ministry. The sentences in bold are the questions I was asked to address, followed by my notes. Of course, I elaborated on each question, but the notes may give a general idea of the direction of my answers.
Someone asked me this week, "If you were thinking with the end in mind, what do you see as the purpose of student ministry?" My answer was, "the purpose of student ministry is that when students graduate from high school, they own their faith; they know what they believe, why they believe it, and how to defend their faith.
Nearest, Neighbors, Nations is how we are working to accomplish this purpose.
Several things come to mind that our parents need to hear from you on:
What advice would you give us now as we anticipate the teenage years?
1. Have the difficult conversations earlier than your parents did with you, and earlier than you think you should. The reality is that we live in a sex saturated culture. We need to be proactive in talking to our kids about sex, about God’s design for sex, and about a life of purity that goes beyond waiting until you’re married to have sex. If you and I are not proactive, we’ll find ourselves having to be reactive, and as you may have experienced, bad information is difficult to unlearn. Like it or not, the pornography I saw when I was in the 8th grade has an impact on me for the rest of my life; can’t unsee it, and I can’t unlearn that bad information. When your child is given bad information on the playground or in the locker room about what sex is, they won’t forget what they’ve been told. However, if they have been given good information, right information before the 5th or 6th grader who is already a pervert shares what he knows, they'll be able to walk away knowing he is wrong.
2. Cherish the years between 10 and 12. You have about a 2 year window, between the ages of 10 and 12, during which your children will want to be around you; to learn from you. Cherish it, and use it wisely. Soon after, they will likely look to peers for counsel and advice. If you’re able to foster a healthy relationship, they will still respect you and come to you from time to time. Their primary go-to, though, is their friends. So help them make good choices when it comes to friends.
What are you most concerned about within families?
Thinking with HS Graduation in mind, my greatest concerns are
1. Faith ownership.
2. Understanding of the Gospel. JD Greear. Gospel: The Power that made Christianity Revolutionary. Religious change works for the approval of God. Gospel change works from the approval of God.
3. Moralistic Therapeutic Deism - fastest growing religious thought in America today.
a. There is a God
b. He wants me to be good
c. He wants me to be happy
d. He only interferes in my life when I am in need
e. Good people go to heaven when they die.
Christian Smith says this religion is not starting new churches. It isn't holding meetings. Instead, it is colonizing within American churches.
This concerns me, because we are an american church. Live out your faith in tangible ways in front of your kids, between Sundays. You'll hear me say it again, I'm sure, but apples don't fall far from trees, so give them a healthy tree from which to fall.
What are the most common struggles you see in preteens and teenagers and what advice would you give parents about these things?
Idolatry. Of course it isn’t called that, but that’s what it is.
What might surprise us about preteens/teenagers?
Teenagers are capable of incredible things, with the right influence and leadership in their lives.
How have you seen the influence of a Mom and Dad affect those kids that you work with?
Positively - Kids who own their faith, and choose to make a difference for Jesus on their college campuses, and in their workplaces.
Negatively - Kids who look at culture, are enamored by what they see, and assimilate, turning their back on what they have been taught.
Of course, there are no absolutes. Parents who seem to have done everything "right," have children to who make poor choices. and the same is true the other way around. This is why it is so important to pray for your kids!
It was a privilege for me to spend time with this community of parents, and I look forward to all that God will do in and through their families!
