Elliana Elise McMurry

“Can I really love a child who isn’t, ‘mine?’” This was the question I asked myself over and over as we prayed and considered adoption as a possibility for our family. There really is no way to know. Someone may tell me that I can, simply because they think I should. However, regardless how much they think they know, they cannot tell me how I will respond to any given situation. No set of circumstances is identical, and the way people view each situation is different. I was terrified that God might be calling us to adopt.

“How long will he drag his feet?” Lisa didn’t ever voice this question aloud, but I know she must have thought it dozens of times. She had been ready to adopt for years. She believed with all her heart that the way our family would grow was through adoption. She not only believed this, but she also believed that for us not to adopt would be disobedient to the will of God.
In December of 2014 Lisa and I decided together that we would pursue the adoption of a domestic newborn. Although I still had concerns, it came down to this: If I claim to be pro-life, then I should be willing to provide for a child whose mother has chosen life over the alternative.
We began working with Christian Adoption Services in Matthews, NC at that time, with the hope that in a few months we would welcome a child into our family. Our parameters were wide in regard to gender, race, and special needs. Friends and family began to shower us with prayer and financial support. We began to pray intently and led the McMurry boys to do the same for, “our baby and our baby’s mama.”
In the long version of this story, I would tell you about our first match, which was not presented by the agency, but by an individual who was seeking the best option for her child. It didn’t work out. Although we were disappointed, we had no choice but to trust that time invested and the emotional toil were all part of the story that God was writing. The long version also includes a year of relocation from North Carolina to Arkansas, back to North Carolina and a step away from full-time ministry.
In April of 2016 we received word that a mother who was looking to place her child for adoption was interested in our family. She had viewed our profile book and had narrowed her choices down to us and another family. Lisa and I spent time on the phone with a sweet young lady from North Carolina, who eventually decided that we were the family for her baby.
The next two months were like a whirlwind. We made the difficult decision to step away from full time ministry for a while, and we moved from Arkansas back to the place our hearts call home, Charlotte, NC. Roughly two weeks after our move, we met in person with a beautiful birthmother and her parents. One week later, we received the call that the young mother was going into labor.
Elliana Elise McMurry was born on June 12^th, 2016 at 11:53am. She was 6 pounds, 15 ounces, and 19 inches. She was born healthy, with ten of each, and a full head of hair. We had the unique privilege of spending time in the hospital room with Elliana, her birthmother and birthfather, as well as her birth grandparents. This sweet little one came home with us on June 14^th, and has stolen the hearts of everyone in the house.
We chose to spell Elliana a little differently than the original, but we attribute to her name the meaning of Eliana. The Hebrew meaning of Eliana is, “my God has answered.” God has most definitely answered our prayer by allowing us to welcome Elliana into our home. Her middle name, Elise, is one that her birthmother, Lisa, and I agreed sounded beautiful with Elliana. Elise just happens to mean, “pledged to God,” and it is our commitment to raise our little girl, to know that she is not only our daughter, but she is a daughter of the King.
As of yet, we have not posted any pictures of Elliana on social media. This isn’t because we are trying to keep her from the world, but rather because of our agreement with the agency. Once all of our paperwork is finalized with the state, we will have full authority to post pictures. We are hoping to have finalization before the end of the year, and believe me, you will probably get tired of seeing pictures of my daughter!
The question that caused me to drag my feet on the adoption was, “Can I really love a child who isn’t, ‘mine?’” I still don’t know. I don’t think I will ever know. All I can tell you is that this little girl is 100% mine, and I love her with all my heart. Everyone in my house agrees, and we are so thankful for our beautiful baby girl.
Lisa and I are eternally grateful to God, our friends, and both of our families for the love, prayer, and support we have received throughout this journey. We are only six months in to a lifelong commitment, and we anticipate difficult days in the future. Just as we have trusted in the sovereignty of God to get us to this point, we trust him for tomorrow and every tomorrow after that. We ask you to join us in praying for wisdom and dependence upon God, as we embrace life as a family of six, with Elliana Elise McMurry.

Joseph McMurry